


An unknown feeling

by mattieleaf



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Composing Music, Consensual Touching, First Love, Fluff, Hugging, IDOLiSH7 Secret Santa, Innocent love, Kissing, M/M, i7ss20, sweet exchanges, two happy innocent baby boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28222017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattieleaf/pseuds/mattieleaf
Summary: 🎅 IDOLiSH7 Secret Santa 2020 Fanfiction ❄️🎄「The snow that is flying down asks meAbout the dream I have almost forgotten in my heart.Now’s the time to unleash all my hopes which were kept buried.Casting away all the confusion, let’s move forward. 」How could someone properly describe these feelings that Tamaki and Sougo were now experiencing for the first time? Utter trust? Feeling at home? Love? It was everything at once. Being able to finally show someone their true self really was anunknown feelingto them.
Relationships: Ousaka Sougo/Yotsuba Tamaki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	An unknown feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Just some wholesome, cheesy SouTama/TamaSou fluff for @xibied 💜💙  
> Merry Christmas! 💙💜
> 
> Disclaimer:  
> \- No English native speaker here - wording might be awkward, please bear with me (〃￣ω￣〃ゞ  
> \- Very fluffy, innocent MEZZO fanfiction incoming (•ө•)♡ no real pairing (so both TamaSou or SouTama is possible 💙💜)  
> \- Thoughts = sentences written in italic

"'m hooooome...", Tamaki already peaked his head into the living area of their shared flat while still, kind of sloppily, trying to get rid of his shoes. He really was super exhausted from today's solo photo-session and just wanted to snuggle down into his bed...well to be totally honest, it was not his bed that came to his mind when he thought about his next steps but rather the one from his beloved partner.

_Uggggh wanna hug Souchan right now..._

Tamaki took another step into the apartment, still in deep thought, when the voice of Mitsuki pushed him back into reality - a bit forcefully though.

"Welcome back, Tamaki. How was work today---UGH you look exhausted?!", Mitsuki's eyebrows rose in shock and he nearly dropped the washed dishes that he was holding in his hands. Did Tamaki really look that beat up? I mean yes, he was tired but this rather came from having to deal with everything alone without the soothing presence of _Souchan_.

"Nah everything's fine, Mikki. Work was good, they even praised me a lot~", he tried his best to smile as he proudly scratched his nose, "it really was fun today and everyone was suuuuper nice~"

_But Souchan was not there_.

The worried look on Mitsuki's face grew heavier and eventually he put the dishes away to take one step in Tamaki's direction, "Are you sure that nothing happened?"

"Just leave the poor boy alone, Mitsu. He probably is just sulking because Sou was not there with him.", suddenly Yamato's voice came from across the room. 

Tamaki did not realize at first that the old man was here as well, because he was lying down on the couch with a beer in his hand. Was Yamato some kind of monster or everybody’s conscience or something? He was always summoned when his younger members had problems, wasn't he?! _Creepy_ …

"T-That's not true!!!", Tamaki could feel the warmth of the blush as it crawled up his neck and his fingers started to tremble as he clenched his fists to _poorly_ hide his embarrassment.

Why could Yamato always see right through everybody?! That was just not fair. He really was some kind of conscience-monster…

Mitsuki's worried face turned into a smirk as soon as he realized the correctness of Yamato's assumption. A small giggle escaped him. Young people really wore their emotions on their face – plain as day.

"Well, I cannot blame you for wanting your partner with you on such an important session, right? If you are looking for Sougo, he has hidden himself in his room. Did not come out the whole day, saying something about finishing another MEZZO song...", Mitsuki sighed as he went back into the kitchen to open the fridge, "Could you at least bring this snack to him? Not eating anything for a whole day is not good..."

Tamaki's mood instantly brightened. Even though he was also a bit mad at Sougo for not thinking about himself again and forgetting to eat properly. But now he had a reason to stop by his room. The smile on Tamaki’s face sparkled with anticipation.

"Roger that~ Will bring this to Souchan~", Tamaki happily took the box out of Mitsuki's hands. He was nearly humming every word. 

This sight made Yamato laugh out loud, "Tama, how happy can someone be when delivering food? You're such an obvious kid, aren't you? Youth...t'was such a nice time..."

Tamaki instantly turned around in Yamato's direction to angrily glare at him. What did the old man mean by that again?! W-Was he really so easy to read?!?! T-They wanted to keep it cool for now...not burdening their fellow members with their relationship (that all of them accepted...without any objections). Did he do something bad right now?! He did not want to anger his friends or to sour their friendship just because Sougo and he did something _forbidden_.

But before Tamaki could ask or worry even further, he felt Mitsuki's soothing touch on his shoulder, "Don't worry about the old man so much - he is just drunk. Now go and bring this to Sougo and try to get some rest as well. You did good today, Tamaki!"

A small, slightly embarrassed smile of joy lit up Tamaki's face. He nodded shortly before swiftly starting to move into the direction of Sougo’s room without any further ado. He did not want to give Yamato more space for another sneaky side comment.

After a few very _eager_ footsteps, Tamaki had already reached Sougo’s door but instead of knocking, he stood still for several moments fixating the door knob. 

_What----?_

His legs started to shake, heat rose up through his whole body and he could feel his fingers sweating around the box that he was holding with a _very_ firm grip. 

_What's---that feeling?_

Tamaki did not know why he was so _afraid_ of entering Sougo’s room all of the sudden? He already did this an uncountable number of times, without even batting an eye. What was different now? Tamaki was still Tamaki and Sougo was still the nice, warm, wonderful Sougo – then why? 

…  
…

**_No_**. He was not _afraid_ of entering the room. He was _too excited_. Too excited to be near the person, he… _loved_. Did Tamaki finally start to grasp the meaning of what _being in love_ was about? The excitement of seeing them again after a way too long day apart, to feel their presence beside them, to smell their fragrance, to hear their utterly perfect and soothing voice.

_Wanna see Souchan so bad right now_ …

Tamaki took one gulp of air to steady himself, then channeled all his courage and knocked at the door, “Souchan, it’s me~ Coming in~”. He could feel his voice trembling, but his mind was set.

He opened the door with one swift swing and entered without waiting for a response. Tamaki’s eyes were immediately scanning the room for the one person his whole body and mind ached to see right now. 

_There. Target found_. 

Sougo had his headphones on and was sitting on the floor in front of his small table that was overfilled with music sheets, notes, crumpled paper and other… _stuff_. 

_S-So messy?!?!_

Tamaki blinked a few times in confusion. He never saw Sougo’s room this _chaotic_? For him and his room, this would be normal, but not Sougo. Was his partner really struggling so much to come up with a new song for MEZZO?

Tamaki slowly put the snack-box down on the shelf behind Sougo, trying to not make any sound. Sougo still had not realized that a certain someone entered his room – he was too immersed in his own world, struggling to find the right words for his melody. A deep frown spread across his face as he let out an exasperated sigh.

_Oh no…Tamaki, the hero to the rescue!~_

Without thinking his next actions through one bit, Tamaki let himself fall behind his partner and wrapped his arms around his waist, snuggling **very** close to Sougo.

…who obviously was startled a **lot** and let out a high-pitched squeal as he suddenly felt someone grabbing him from behind. Sougo’s whole body stiffened and the pen that he was holding in his hand, was thrown way up in the air – just to fall down on Sougo’s head in the course of action again.

After a few moments of total silence, Sougo tried to calm himself down by taking some deep breaths. He needed to regain his composure _somehow_ before facing the only person blunt enough for doing such a thing.

He ripped his headphones off, grumpily turned his head a bit and gritted his teeth, “Tamaki-kun----!”

“Good evening, Souchan~ Did I surprise ya~?”, Tamaki said with the most innocent look and grin on his face. He did nothing wrong, right? Well, at least, as far as he was concerned~ 

Sougo wanted to blame Tamaki for scaring him so much, but his anger and determination vanished the second he looked at his mesmerizing smile and he felt himself being engulfed by his sea-blue eyes. 

_Damn you, heart._

So instead of giving him a lesson on how to properly enter someone else’s room, Sougo just relaxed with a long sigh before leaning even more into their embrace.

“Of course, I was surprised, but not in a good way, you know…", Sougo closed his eyes for a bit, "...But now, I’m just happy that you are here.” 

Yes, being able to voice his true feelings without feeling embarrassed or weak – Sougo was at ease with Tamaki around.

Tamaki’s smile widened as he felt Sougo’s body pressing against his and he deepened the hug even more. 

_Souchan is happy to see me_ …

He giggled, “Souchan, so honest~ ‘m toooootally happy too~”

A flood of heat washed up Sougo's throat to stain his cheeks. He needed to change the topic quickly or else he would melt in Tamaki’s arms. His eyes snapped open again. Sougo hastily looked around the room and then coughed shortly, “How was work today?” 

Perfect change of subject. … _or not?_

“Mh~ okay, I guess? But I missed ya a hella lot and couldn’t wait to come home~ BUT I was toooootally praised! So dontcha think I slacked off just because Souchan was not there---!”, Tamaki nestled his face against Sougo’s neck after he had finished talking.

Shivers ran down Sougo's spine and his whole body pulsed rhythmically as he felt Tamaki’s breath against his skin. Another critical hit to Sougo’s heart. Why made every word that Tamaki said nowadays Sougo’s heart race like crazy and his head all fuzzy? His childish, innocent actions were not one bit better though----

_Calm down, Sougo. A song was still waiting to be finished. No slacking off_.

Sougo took a few breaths before answering, “That’s good to hear, Tamaki-kun. I know that you are really responsible and hardworking. But I need to be responsible and hardworking now as well, you understand? I really need to focus on writing the lyrics...”

Sougo picked up the pen from before and took one of the music sheets from the table in front of him, examining it with a stern expression. Why would the right words not come to him?

Feeling Sougo moving a bit away from him, Tamaki lifted his head and pouted, “’m not distracting ya~ ‘m here to inspire and help ya~”

He closed the distance between their bodies again and he could feel Sougo's _reacting_ to it. 

_Hehe~ Not gonna let ya escape, Souchan~_

“T-Tamaki-kun, _please_. This does not really help me in focusing on the song---”, Sougo murmured in a frustrated tone as he put his pen away again and turned around a bit to face a still sulking Tamaki. 

_P-Pouting face….c-cute…_

Sougo blushed and started to nibble on his lower lip before turning away from his younger boyfriend again. 

_Be strong. Be strong. Be strong. Be---_

After seeing Sougo’s flustered reaction, Tamaki’s pout instantly vanished from his face, “Heeeeee~? Why~? ‘m just sitting behind ya, being all quiet and stuff~”

The hint of a self-satisfied smirk played across Tamaki's full, pink lips as he leaned in a bit.

Being startled again by Tamaki’s straightforward mannerism and his own infatuation, Sougo tried to move his whole body away from him but Tamaki's grip was just too firm. Still, he needed to be the strict one now. _Somehow_. This time he was not allowed to repeatedly fall for Tamaki’s little mind games.

“I-I can feel your heartbeat and your breath on my skin…T-That is kind of distracting, you know---”

“Then I just hold my breath 'til Souchan’s finished. Ready---”, Tamaki opened his mouth to deeply inhale some air but before he could go on with his _masterplan_ , he felt Sougo’s body forcefully moving in his arms and in the next moment Sougo's face was in front of Tamaki’s and his hands clapped against Tamaki's cheeks to press out the bottled-up air.

“Stop it, Tamaki-kun!! I am not so fast in finding the right words and you would suffocate in the end!”, Sougo’s forehead was wrinkled with concern and his eyes were firmly locked on Tamaki’s. If anybody he knew would say something so stupid and mean it, it would be his partner.

Tamaki could not really hide the frustration provoked by the clear lack of faith in him and he childishly stuck out his tongue a bit, “Don’t underestimate my strength, Souchan~! Would do everything for ya~”

Tamaki deepened the slightly loosened grip of his arms around Sougo’s waist and moved his head a bit forward, so that their foreheads could touch each other. He stared into his beautiful purple-colored eyes. How could Souchan be so perfect on the outside and inside? Was he really not dreaming?

Sougo's stern expression softened and was instantly replaced by an amorous one. His heartbeat was so loud that it filled his ears with its sound. He did not know what to look at or where to put his hands. His eyes switched between drowning in Tamaki’s or savoring his inviting lips. He could not hold back any longer. 

“Tamaki-kun…I---”, he was already leaning in even more, when suddenly…

Beep Beep. Beep Beep. Beep Beep.

The sound of his smartphone brought Sougo back to reality and reminded him what he should _actually_ be doing right now. Focussing on writing MEZZO’s new song.

As soon as he came back to his senses, Sougo instantly drew back from Tamaki, turned around and grabbed his phone – which surprised Tamaki quite a lot and made him feel a little bit _uneasy_. He had to blink several times to really grasp what had just happened. Had…Sougo just rejected him? He was nearly 100% sure that they were about to kiss? And now…he lost his total attention? What the----?!

Tamaki was a bit hurt by Sougo’s unexpected actions but he did not think one moment of letting him escape his grip. His arms could not be so easily avoided as his lips. And he would not give up overall as well. His “Souchan-Meter” was still not full enough for Tamaki to let go. Just a little bit more…just a little more cuddling…being near him…enjoying his presence…

For that reason only, Tamaki tried to push the pain down, but disappointment dripped from his voice, “Who’s this? Betcha someone reeeeeeally important…”

Sougo was mindlessly typing on his phone, a little bit oblivious of his own actions, “Oh it’s Natsume-san. I asked him for advice concerning songwriting block…”

Tamaki kind of forcefully pushed Sougo back against his chest and buried his face into Sougo’s hair, before mumbling against it, “Pfffffff why dontcha ask me for advice, Souchan? Minamin should rather focus on Toracchi and his _requests_ ~”

After letting out a small yelp while being yanked back again, Sougo finally realized what his last actions might have caused in Tamaki – plus his super sulky tone in his voice made it even more clear. 

Sougo had to suppress a small chuckle. It would really not be appropriate to laugh at Tamaki for showing his true feelings. And…this behavior was somehow really cute? Sougo felt a warmth run through his body and a soft smile spread across his face. Was this what being loved, being cherished felt like?

“Tamaki-kun…are you, by any chance, jealous?”, Sougo put one of his hands on Tamaki’s and started to gently stroking it. Was he trembling?

“Me? N-Never. J-Just wanna that ya rely on me more for stuff like this…”, his voice still sounded muffled against Sougo’s hair. 

Tamaki was too embarrassed to move even an inch. Another unknown feeling…was this what _jealousy_ felt like? This was totally different from the jealousy he had already experienced, like being jealous of Ryuu for dancing better, or of other children back at the orphanage for getting adopted…this hit way deeper…because Sougo was involved…maybe this was _true_ jealousy?

Sougo could no longer hold back. He totally lost his self-control and started to giggle uncontrollably while intertwining their fingers. 

_An angel’s laughter_ … 

Tamaki was totally baffled for a moment. He slowly moved his head up to look at his partner’s features. He could not even be mad at Sougo for laughing at his actions. Everything that made Sougo purely giggle like this, was worth it.

“Sometimes, you can be so cute, Tamaki-kun”, Sougo chuckled one last time before gathering his composure again. Tamaki really wanted to help him with his writing issue, right? Then he might as well accept his offer. 

_What did Natsume-san say in his message? Ah, right_ …

Sougo slid the music notes of his new composition in front of both of them and pointed at a certain part of it, “Then, Tamaki-kun, how about humming the melody and giving me _your_ thoughts on it?”

He could immediately feel Tamaki’s face peeking over his shoulder and then Tamaki rested his chin on Sougo’s shoulder. 

“Roger that~”

Without any hesitation, Tamaki started to hum Sougo’s new melody. A melody so marvelous, so rich, so full of emotions. He wanted to focus on considering every note, to give them the attention they deserved. Sougo used them in this order for a reason – Tamaki was sure of it. When he was finished, the words just burst out of his mouth.

“…this’ beautiful, Souchan?! Over the top and super-duper beautiful? This melody is the BEST”, Tamaki’s eyes sparkled, his whole face glowed up and his voice was filled with utter admiration of Sougo’s new master piece. Why could he himself not see how talented he was? Tamaki already thought _Forever Note_ was the bestest ever…but this song…this song showed another side of his partner – revealing even more of his true feelings. Tamaki was so overjoyed and excited being the one that would be singing it together with Sougo.

“T-Thank you, Tamaki-kun…hearing this from you really means a lot…”, relief brought a smile to Sougo's lips.

Sougo was bubbling with happiness. His chest felt like it might burst from it. His heart, too, was full of gratitude and solemn joy. Hearing his own melody being sung by his most precious person in the world had still kind of a huge impact on Sougo. Were his melodies really that beautiful or was it Tamaki that made them special?

“So…my thoughts on it, right? It…feels like someone wanna talk 'bout something but they don’t know how to put their feelings into words? Like those feelings are new to them and describing something ya don’t know is… _hard_. They keep burying their hopes and try to forget their dreams but in the end they're finally able to voice them and move forward…", Tamaki paused for a while and then nodded approvingly, "Yush, that’s the kinda message I get from the melody. Souchan, did I help----”

Before Tamaki could finish his question, he felt Sougo’s sweet, warm lips on his – sealing his mouth with a kiss. A kiss filled with gratitude, love and pure happiness. Tamaki just closed his eyes in response and buried one of his hands into Sougo’s silk hair – returning the kiss with pleasure.

After what felt like a wonderful eternity, both of them were a bit out of breath when their lips parted again. They stared longingly into each other’s eyes for a bit. Sougo was the first to break the silence.

“I should really rely on you more, Tamaki-kun. Thank you so much.”, he said while beaming with happiness and raising one of his hands to cup Tamaki’s cheek in it.

“Very welcome, Souchan~ Always and forever for ya, ya know~”, Tamaki grinned as well – his whole body feeling dizzy, hot and content. He gently took Sougo’s hand from his cheek, bringing it up to his mouth to cover it with kisses.

Sougo’s face turned the darkest shade of red possible and his whole body savored every touch of Tamaki’s lips on his skin. How should he ever get used to _this_? To this utterly perfect human being in front of him and his actions. Could his heart ever get some rest and not feeling like it would burst any minute? But Tamaki’s words gave him hope and strength to move forward from now on. He would never be afraid of anything anymore because he knew that Tamaki would always support him. Maybe Sougo already knew that deep down while writing his new melody? Maybe those were the emotions he wanted to get across? Tamaki was totally right with his interpretation, wasn’t he? Was that the reason why he felt so overwhelmed by his explanation that he just had to kiss him? To seal it like a promise? To make it true for Sougo as well?

The thoughts in his head kept spinning, but their message was clear as day – thanks to Tamaki. Sougo smiled to himself before lowering his face a bit, resting it against Tamaki’s collarbone, “Yes, I know. I am not alone anymore, ain’t I?”

“Never again~”, Tamaki whispered lovingly while his other hand trailed down the side of Sougo’s gorgeous body, stopping at his thigh and gently stroking it.

Excitement ran through Sougo's whole body and he pressed himself even closer to Tamaki, relishing this exact moment. He could hear Tamaki’s quickened heartbeat, his wonderful smell tickled Sougo’s nose and made him think about how utterly blessed he was with Tamaki by his side. Did he really deserve all of this? 

But instead of falling back into old patterns of self-doubt and no self-confidence, Sougo tried to put faith into Tamaki’s words for now.

_I am not alone anymore. There are people out there who love me the way I am. Who support me._

“Thank you, Tamaki-kun…”, Sougo mumbled against Tamaki’s chest – barely above a whisper.

But Tamaki could still hear it loud and clear. Because as Sougo promised him long time ago, Tamaki would as well hear Sougo’s voice even if it was softer than a pianissimo, even if Sougo would be afraid to be heard, Tamaki would always listen to his words. He would always be by his side. _Forever_. 

After a while of staying like this – into each other’s warm embrace, cuddling – a sudden rush of sleepiness hit Tamaki. He absentmindedly stood up without letting go of Sougo, then took him by the hand and dragged both of them to bed. Sougo was a bit flustered by the unexpected change of position and after realizing what Tamaki’s _possible_ ulterior motive was, he had to gulp once to calm his excessively beating heart. He had to get rid of these thoughts, he had to put his mind on something else, he had to---

“Tamaki-kun, we haven't changed our clothes---”, Sougo stuttered sheepishly as his eyes could not stay focused on anything and especially tried to avoid Tamaki’s face.

“Mhm…don’t mind…stay with me for a bit Souchan…so sleepy…”, Tamaki murmured while wrapping his arms around Sougo’s waist. He already had his eyes closed and his breathing had an even rhythm. 

Sougo squinted his eyes shut at the instant realization and he bit his lip in embarrassment. 

_OH_ … 

How much could someone possibly misinterpret things? Or rather let his desires roam free…but honestly, he was glad that Tamaki still was this super innocent boy, Sougo fell in _love_ with.

“ _Sigh_ …but only for a bit, okay? And only because you did so good today.”, Sougo laughed and patted Tamaki’s head.

“Hehe…~ Souchan praised me again…~ Love Souchan soooooo much…~”, Tamaki smiled brilliantly and opened his eyes for a bit again to definitely be able to see Sougo’s reaction to his words.

_Heh~ Knew it~ Bright red cheeks ya have there, Souchan~_

“…”

At first, Sougo was at loss for words. He did not expect such a sudden love statement, but maybe this was due to Tamaki’s sleepiness? But…it was _really_ sweet...

“I love you too, Tamaki-kun. I truly do.”, Sougo leaned towards Tamaki’s face and carefully put a kiss on Tamaki’s nose, “And now try so sleep, okay?”

As soon as he finished his sentence, he could already hear Tamaki’s soft breathing. Sougo smiled contentedly at this wonderful view in front of his face.

“Good night, Tamaki-kun.”

…  
…  
…  
…

“Mhmnnnnn…’m thirsty…”, Tamaki was rolling around in bed, mumbling to himself and fumbling the area next to him, but he could not find what – or rather who – he was searching for. 

Tamaki slowly opened one eye and then the other one. He really was lying all alone on Sougo’s bed.

“Where’s Souchan…?”, Tamaki abruptly sat up on the bed, rubbing his eyes and then scanning the dark room for the whereabouts of his inconsiderate partner. 

Seriously, it did not surprise Tamaki at all anymore that Sougo’s health and body would sometimes just collapse. Sougo really had no concept of self-care. Sleep is important. Especially the one in the arms of the person you love. … yes, Tamaki was a bit sulky. 

Tamaki had a hunch of where the inconsiderate Sougo might be though. He tried to focus his eyes on the space of the room, where the table and Sougo’s unfinished music notes were. The little desk lamp lit up _his_ sleeping face.

_Gotcha_ …

Tamaki sighed heavily as he wobblily stood up and moved to the middle of the room, blanket in one of his hands. Sougo apparently fell asleep while continuing to write the lyrics of their new song, his head now resting on top of the table. At least he did not look uncomfortable. 

“Souchan…ya so reckless…seriously…”, Tamaki whispered as he placed the blanket around Sougo’s shoulders, “Mh---?”

Tamaki tilted his head in surprise and tried to cautiously pull out the music sheet from under Sougo’s hand and hold it under the dim desk lamp. Did he manage to finish the lyrics?

Tamaki eyes widened in awe as he savored every word that Sougo had written. His face engaged in a proud smile as he whispered the title of the song to himself, “Shiranai Kimochi? These lyrics…Souchan, ya a genius…ya know~”

He put the piece of paper back under Sougo's hand, then stared lovingly for a while at his boyfriend's beautiful sleeping face and eventually breathed a kiss on Sougo's head before as quietly as possible exit the room.

As soon as Tamaki had closed the door behind him, he hid his face in his hands to muffle a scream of excitement and jumped a few times.

“Ahhhhhhhh-----just can’t wait to sing this song with Souchan……”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you are happy with it and enjoyed reading it ;_____; 💜💙  
> I just love innocent, sweet, yet a little bit _expecting_ Tamaki and Sougo interactions 🤭  
> Thank you all so much for reading 💙💜


End file.
